We will never forget...

So, September 11th is here yet again. As i'm sure it does for most people, this day makes me so very sad. It will forever be etched in my heart and in my memory. Not only did we face a nation's worst nightmare, but my grandfather died that same day, too. It was the day he was to be removed from life support. I was at work (on an adolescent mental health inpatient unit) when I learned of the terrorist attacks, already wearing a heavy heart due to my grandpa. Once we realized what was going on, Tony asked me to come home so we could be together. I went home and spent the day glued in front of the tv with my then fiancee. My heart was already breaking for all the devestation that was going on around us, and then I learned that grandpa had died. Life changed that day for everyone, and I truly hope we will never again experience anything like that day.

This layout is pretty old (I think that will be obvious when you see it, lol), but I thought it would be appropriate to post it here today:

Journaling is long, so feel free to skip it: I can’t imagine ever forgetting what Tuesday, September 11th, 2001 was like. I was working at Sheppard Pratt Psychiatric Hospital at the time, on the adolescent male inpatient unit. This was already a very difficult day for me. Grandpa was dying. Dad was in Florida, at the hospital with Grandpa. This was the day that they were going to remove him from his life support. We knew he was going to die once they did that… it was just a matter of when. As I was getting paperwork done on the unit that morning, trying to keep myself busy and distract myself from Grandpa’s impending death, we got word that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center in New York City. An accident, we assumed. I called Tony at work to find out if he had heard about it. As we were talking about it, another plane crashed into the other twin tower. How could this be??? All of a sudden, the talk changed from “an accident” to thoughts of a terrorist attack. People were silenced all around me, glued to the TV on our unit. In front of my eyes, I saw the unimaginable. There was fire and smoke all around the towers, and people were jumping out of the windows of the World Trade Center, taking charge of the way they would die. Then one of the towers crumbled to the ground. Crumbled! And then the other one collapsed, too. Tony told me he was leaving work, and he wanted me to leave, too. He wanted me home with him… we both wanted to be together. So I left. As I was driving home, there was now news of an attack at the Pentagon in D.C. Shortly thereafter, I found out that Howie was near there driving to a meeting that day. Terry hadn’t yet been able to get a hold of him. Panic was now filling every single cell in my body. I was having a very difficult time wrapping my brain around all that was going on that day. Although Howie witnessed the plane flying overhead of him before it crashed and chaos all around, thankfully, physically, my brother was ok. When I got home to Tony, we just sat there, holding each other, as images on the news filled our heads and our hearts. So many were dead. So many were hurt. So many were missing. I couldn’t stop crying at the devestation, the terror, the cruelty, the heartache that was surrounding me. I truly did not think that day could get any worse… And then we got the call that Grandpa had died.

Sooo, where were you on September 11th, 2001?